Here are some things that are not working in my life. I don’t know what to do about them. Maybe there is someone out there who can help me.
One. I have Google Plus and have been looking at some cool photos there and making some positive comments about them. But the individuals who took the photos only write in Chinese or Japanese. So we have been having these conversations and I don’t understand what they are saying. Also, I now have this strange (to me) writing all over my G-mail front page. It looks untidy and it reminds me that I suck at languages.
Two. A couple of weeks ago I realized I’m very attracted to one of the American Idol contestants, Holly Cavanaugh. She’s beautiful. She’s the Ice Queen (in a world of little people). And she can sing well too. But mainly, she is just gorgeous and she has a very nice personality. But then, last night, she was voted off the show. So I can’t watch her anymore except on Youtube. Also, she’s only eighteen. Then there’s the fact that I’m married and well over 50 years old. So I don’t think this is going to work out. Probably, the odds are better that I will learn to read Chinese.
Three. I’m concerned about inflation. I just went out and bought a few shirts. The bill was over 100 dollars! Then I went out to lunch at a fast food place. It cost 10 dollars! It costs 5 dollars for a piece of cheese at the supermarket!! What’s happening?!! When the government spends more money than it takes in we have a deficit. No amount of taxation is going to fill that hole! So the government has to print money to make up the difference. And when it prints money we often have inflation! Inflation is a tax on poor people especially! It raises the price of basic necessities. So when your government representative spends our money on you he or she is also secretly raising your taxes! Even if you don’t pay taxes! They are taking your money and giving it to you as a gift! Aren’t you grateful!
Four. I bought a lottery subscription but so far I have only won 30 dollars. The subscription cost 52 dollars so I’m still in the red. When are they going to send me the rest of my money?
Five. I have a window AC unit next to my desk and all the computer stuff because it gives off so much heat. It gets hot in this little room. But, now it’s May, and I can’t turn the durned thing on because some birds built their home in it or under it and are raising their family around it. My wife would kill me if I turned it on. Kellan was over here today and he was watching Big Bird on Sesame Street. I’m sure Mr. Bird would not be happy either.
Six. I have all these clothes from LL Bean that don’t fit anymore because I’ve lost 40 pounds and I was thinking about sending them back to the factory. They have this guarantee that says “If for ANY reason you are EVER unhappy with our product SEND IT BACK”. I’m paraphrasing but I’m pretty sure this is what they say. Well, I’m unhappy because the clothes don’t fit! I can’t wear them. Maybe LL has somebody who is fat up there in Maine and would like to wear them. It would help them fight inflation.
Seven. I’m concerned about life, in general, and the fact that it can end so rapidly if I drive off the road at a high rate of speed. Probably this won’t happen but what if someone runs into me? Cars should be shaped like round spheres with thick rubber all around them so when people run into each other they just bounce in different directions. Maybe there could be gyroscopes located in the engines that will keep folks in an upright position while the outside skin rolls merrily down the road. We could save a lot of lives if GM would follow my suggestion. And, cities would look more like Christmas all year round with colorful balls all over the place.
Well, that’s it for now. I don’t want to burden the world with too many of my problems. I have a date in December with some Mayans and I’m hopeful they will have some answers that don’t involve human sacrifice of any kind. In the meantime, it’s going to be “stay in the present moment” and when that doesn’t work “watch old videos of Holly singing her cute little face off”. And walk every day, of course.
The world and all its problems seems to disappear when one walks those miles again and again.