I’ve been watching The New Oprah Winfrey Network this afternoon because LOTRO Online is offline. The servers are down. It’s Sunday afternoon so not much is happening. The Super Bowl is next week.
Oprah is not somebody I have watched in the past. So this was something new. Her new show is more behind the scenes of the making of her show. So you’re seeing the conflicts that go on prior to the taping of it. Oprah is in the middle of most of these conflicts, of course, unless her producers decide to save her a few worries and solve a problem themselves. This doesn’t happen very often.
We are now in the episode where she freaks out because she’s working too hard. She was supposed to be off at five the previous day and she worked until nine. Now she’s going to cut a few things out of the schedule.
Oprah talks. Her producers listen. Like I said I don’t really know Oprah very well but she seems very much under control. Maybe even a bit robotic. I had the same feeling about someone about five years ago when Barry Manilow came to town for a live show and we ventured out to catch it. I see the body doing some amazing things but where’s the glow?
I’m sure Oprah glows. Doesn’t she? It’s a bit unfair to say she has lost her soul without seeing her in person.
Maybe I’ve lost my soul. Maybe that’s the problem. And so I’m projecting this feeling on other people. Very successful people. Icons of the American scene. But so far it has only happened twice.
So there’s hope for me. And there’s hope for the country too.
The robots are not reproducing at an alarming rate.
Now Oprah and Gail, her dear friend, are driving to a National Park. Yellowstone, maybe? Oprah got a letter from a park ranger stating that only 1-3 percent of park visitors are African Americans. He felt that if she came to the park and did a show more of them would show up. So she’s here and the weather looks fine.
But she’s not a big fan of camping. I’m wondering if perhaps being in the great out-of-doors could instill some glow back into her system. So she wants to surprise the ranger who invited her but when they get there and he walks up. . .
Nothing! Shelton the ranger doesn’t say a word! He’s an introvert perhaps. Or he’s fascinated by the robot walking next to Gail.
Wait, wait a second!! They are skipping ahead a little to a preview of the next segment. Oprah is actually camping now. Sitting around a campfire near a few small tents. And she’s losing it. She’s crying and waving her hands up in the air. This is not the tightly controlled media mogul.
This is a powerful woman losing it in the woods. Cool. I could get into this. Maybe they will do a sequel with a large bear and a couple of mad meese.
Is that the plural of moose? Or is it mooses? Not sure.
This show is definitely a cut above the average reality show. I haven’t seen anything this good since Ozzie Osbourne treated us to a look at his family life out there in Beverly Hills. Now Ozzie definitely was glowing most of the time. It’s tough not to glow even in the dark when your tank is full of so many good pharmaceuticals.
In fact this is much better because Ozzie’s neighbors didn’t set up chairs in his front yard to watch him. And they’re definitely doing that here.
Shelton is still around and he’s watching too. Very carefully.
Now Oprah is going to make dinner and the first thing she’s fixing are Moscow Mules. Vodka and a bunch of other stuff. No Moose Tracks. I would have been much more comfortable with ice cream. Anything with Vodka reminds me of my current battle to lose weight and fly straight.
You lucky dog Oprah. Now the preview of her crying and waving her arms around makes more sense. It’s not a response to the fresh air and night sounds of the trees and mountains.
It’s the same thing that separates Ozzie from the ranks of robot-ism. Chemicals.
Well we will just have to see how things turn out. Now they’re going into the pop-up tent trailer and they’re laughing and talking about “lesbian rumors”. Really? I’m a little disappointed there was no screaming and running around in the woods.
“Where did Oprah go?” Oh wait. It’s morning and here she is in her PJ’s! Adorable. And she refuses to repeat a scene that was lost because the camera wasn’t working. She doesn’t believe in repeating things. In fact she doesn’t believe in doing them the first time if she’s not in the mood. Pack up the tent. We’re heading home!
After they go fishing for a few minutes. Now she’s throwing a line out into the water. And wait! Wait a minute!!
She’s glowing! I can see it.
But now it’s time to go back to the city. Bye-bye!!
As I sat in a local restaurant for breakfast the other day watching someone nearly fall on a slipper floor I was suddenly transported to another place and time.
In 1956 I was eight years old and often watched the snow fall from the living room window. In these New England winters it would snow until depths of five or six feet covered familiar yards with smooth, sparkling blankets of white terrain unfamiliar to us all. Every snowstorm was different because the wind would use different brushes depending on its mood.
Maybe it wasn’t that deep but it seems like it when you are only three feet tall. The bigger boys would get out early and shovel off the pond so they could spend the next ten or twelve hours skating or playing hockey. There would be a fire somewhere nearby and the smell of burning wood permeated the area. I would watch while they raced back and forth on the ice chasing a puck and enjoying themselves immensely. They smashed into each other and the ice while I limited my forays to the perimeter of this happy violence.
The cold numbed us to the core. I was only eight and had recently returned from a month long stay in a nearby hospital. I was content to watch and enjoy from a small distance.
This was life in a small town in Central Massachusetts back before the Beatles came to town and everyone’s mom stayed at home. Their job was to supervise little guys like me who would sometimes did things requiring quick medical attention. It was not a daycare environment.
And then there were the chores. Shovel all of the snow out of the driveway before Dad returned from a hard day at work. Make sure to shovel it wide enough so he can open the door of his car.
I tried. But the higher the snow bank the less wide would be the path. I tried to tell him one evening as he opened his door into a pile of snow. He seemed to become more determined with each effort as metal met ice and gradually created a small space.
I was always amazed by how much energy he had at the end of his day as he tried to find his way indoors. And we would eventually follow him when it started to become dark and the cool air suddenly became heavy and silent. And much colder. We would sit next to a radiator and slowly melt in a painful ritual that left us wondering if maybe we should have stayed outdoors.
My three sisters and myself and my parents would settle in for the evening around a television that looked remarkably like something I recently saw in the Boston Museum of Science.
Sometimes it would start to snow again as we looked out the window. All of our tracks were soon covered and, of course, the driveway was once again filling up with snow drifts.
This was around the time I began wondering why we made all the efforts we made. So much of it was repetitive motion that seemed futile to me.
Or at least it seemed that way to me. There was a deep sense of purpose in the effort to clear the pond. I could understand this because the mission was so clear.
But the driveway did not lend itself to the same interpretation. No matter that my parents tried to tell me they were the same. My father worked in a factory on an assembly line making automobiles. I had been there and watched the cars snake through the large cavern as each worker did the same task over and over again.
In my heart I knew these tasks were vastly different. And I enjoyed watching my father help me finish the job as the evening approached. Even if he didn’t want to do it. He made me laugh. And I needed very much to enjoy life again and laugh about the challenges that faced us all.
I doubt he really cared if I finished the driveway so that it met all his specifications. He was happy to see me alive and exercising outdoors with the other kids. And I was happy again to be part of a winter world that somehow seemed warmer than the one I had recently left.
And as the sun retreated I was trying to do one more thing for this gentle man who came to see me every day while I slept in my hospital bed.
I was trying to bring the ice pond to him so that we could be together at the end of his difficult day.
It’s Monday morning and we are all back at work doing the things we love to do most often when we have decided to enjoy masochistic activities. I work at home here at the computer in my man cave where it is warm. And I’m retired but I can still indulge in masochistic activities with the best of them. There’s two ways of looking at this and I want to be very clear that there’s nothing kinky about my masochism. It’s all about the cold air and muscles that don’t respond well to it!
And when you sit in this chair for hours and hours all sorts of weird things happen to the back! The back!
The front has all sorts of problems too but they are not related to the chair and hours of sitting. Basically problems break out all over the place as one becomes involved in the sixth decade of life on the blue-green orb. I wish that as a young person I developed better habits including those involving exercise. Perhaps watching Jack LaLanne and doing the things he suggested we do on a regular basis would have helped!
But Jack is no longer with us this morning. Sadly he died this past weekend at the age of 96. In his ninth decade of existence he would tow boats while he swam leisurely about the harbor. I’m pretty sure he felt the need to exercise the way I feel the necessity to sit down at the computer.
And this is why I will be uploaded (hopefully) and joining Jack way before the ninth decade and without a fleet of water craft in tow.
The Pittsburgh Steeler’s quarterback Ben Roethlisberger ran to his right and did a little shovel pass to someone at which point he was painfully kneed in the upper thigh in an obvious case of karmic retribution. Some time ago he allegedly made unwanted advances to a young lass in a restroom that was unattended at the time resulting in a four game suspension. Karma often takes its time which is why it makes me so nervous.
As the game ended Rothy was seen with a towel over his head still on the field praying no doubt that he will make it home safely and the winning trophy will not float into the room while he is sleeping and fall on his head.
On the other hand the New York Jet’s coach Rex Ryan has a foot fetish that has been examined in some detail on Youtube and Imus In the Morning and so it was not surprising that in the first half of the game his team gained just a few feet on the ground and in the air.
Clearly Karma was once again paying close attention as Ryan used up so many feet prior to the game his team had nothing left for the big dance.
“Payback is hell” as they say. And I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes when management figures out what happened.
The Chicago Bears had their own problems earlier as they were defeated by the Green Bay Packers. Their quarterback Jay Cutler had a “wobbly knee” and was seen riding a stationary bike early in the second half while his team was on the field struggling to survive. At some point they began using their third string QB who announcer Troy Aikman stated “was not a quarterback”. I found this to be a little confusing since he was playing a whole lot better than his two predecessors throwing touchdown passes and turning the game into a competitive affair only decided late in the game.
But then I have always felt that Troy was not the sharpest cleat in the clubhouse although he seems to have great karma (so far), Super Bowl rings and the ability to aggravate Joe Buck which makes the evening so much more enjoyable. Clearly just about everything aggravates Buck so Troy doesn’t have to do anything special. He can just be himself.
What can I say about Green Bay? Congratulations! You won although it was a hard fought contest against a team playing without a quarterback! Of course they started out with a quarterback but he got hurt in the game as I noted earlier and his replacement, the second string guy, was booted after playing so badly they apparently had to go into the stands and find some accountant from Grim, Bags and Gobbels to finish the game.
Talk about karma!! Chicago clearly is not doing well after a visit from Premier Hu! That’s what you get for hosting a dictator in your city! If only it was baseball season and the Cubs second baseman suddenly decided to take a whirlpool during the seventh inning stretch.
Hu could take his place!
Who’s on second?
The head of the communist party in China!
Who?
Hu!
Sorry. Surely my karma has not improved this morning. I may have upset someone from our family who is a fan of one of these teams.
Who? I’m not sure. But they all are among the finest people on earth.
Congratulations to all the winners! Losers. . .thanks for coming out!
Should we all get back to our productive activities now? Or should we watch this?
Because here we can see a good example of karma getting ready to rock and roll!! It’s a teachable moment about what not to “import” to your workplace environment.
